Kitchen Crash or Kitchen Trash? Just Give Me Alison-

I want a complete kitchen makeover. You know...a kitchen crash--like the show.

The host of Kitchen Crashers on DIY is so hot that I can feel the love in my Hanes when I watch her use her chop saw. NO shit. It's like she is here for me and me only... Then I change my Underoos.

Alison Victoria. Seriously, even her name is way too sexy. Honestly! How does any guy refuse to let her come into your home to remodel your kitchen? I don't apologize for my penis. Oh I forget. Wives.

The deal is simple. You are approached by this incredibly hot babe that wants to go home with you. Okay. Done deal. Good so far. Wife or not.

Then you are required to stare at her ass and boobs for three days while pretending to work with crew members on your own kitchen.

I'm a simple minded man with a penchant for hot women. I make no apologies. I love microwaves, convection ovens, overloaded circuits and grease fires--anything HOT! Alison, that is the reason I love you...

How about that Lazy Susan you promised? We still on?

Can You Talk the Talk...?

A really good friend of mine was a sergeant major in the army reserve for years, and he stuttered profusely. I'll call him Robert because that's his name.

Old Roberto couldn't really bark out orders like one would expect a soldier in his position to be able to do. In fact, I can't help but believe that half of the injuries that U.S. Army forces suffered in Iraq were because Robert took way too long to spit out the word "duh, duh,!!!"

Nothing like following orders from a guy in full combat gear yelling, "Fo, fo, fo. Oh sh, sh...just go!" I suppose the only thing his guys really needed to know was what he meant when he said "duh, duh."

I used to laugh when he spoke to me. I would say to him that we could finish the conversation during his next electro-shock session.

He would grin and say, "fuh, fuh, fuh...". I got it Robert. Fuck you too.

Robert is still around. He still stutters, but now he has a "wandering" eye. I don't know what that's about.

Maybe he should have been a sniper.

Thanks for the laughter sarge--you're a good guy. "Wondering" eye? No shit?

A Rant. A Rave. Get Over It!

God, I've been away from this blog for sooo damned long that I don't even know how to do shit here anymore... Even though it's still perfect!! Attitude ain't changed, but I gotta figure this crap out all over again.

I'm trying to 'clean' or streamline my blog as well since this seems like a great time to 'clean' or streamline it. Don't ask. 

For instance, there are a few more blogging buds I will be adding back to my sidebar. Quite a few of them have gotten away from their blogs. Like myself...

This should be a boatload (that's like a shit pot full) of fun though, and so far it appears as though my old links are all working--still! Unbelievable!

Redraider is returning to save the blogging world, and it's been a while. I know. Well, it's my world so I can piss it away if I choose, but I only choose to piss it away with my beloved buds.

Hey! How do I work this new $(&#(@%*! Mother fucker! Does nuttin' not woik anymore? I know it's not my damned fault! Friggin' "Blogger" assholes!

Because I Can America... Because I Can.

I never intended on some sort of political site here. Hell, ya just never know though. When something strikes a nerve-wham! Anyway, take it for what you will, or take it for nothing. Either way I think it has "traitor and truth" written all over it.

Just an opinion from an ignorant southerner.