As I was waiting in line at the checkout, this lady came to the front near me pushing a basket with about two dozen tubes of K-Y Jelly she had put in it. I didn't notice much else in the buggy. Maybe I couldn't get past the K-Y. Naturally, all sorts of uses came to my mind. I wondered if she intended to use them for stocking stuffers. Perhaps she has an enema fetish.When I got home I kept thinking about all of that K-Y Jelly the lady had bought. This was funny as shit to me...trying to think up reasons to use all of that crap. Perhaps it goes well with K-Y peanut butter or maybe it just taste better than Vaseline. Hell who knows? I felt it my duty to dig deeper (with the help of K-Y) and get to the bottom of this. I Googled uses for K-Y.
Some uses I found are not too strange. They may even work. Someone suggested it made a great cuticle remover. Water skiers can lube the rubber ski boots with it to make their foot slide into the ski easier. Those uses seem logical and they bore the shit out of me. Here's some more from me and Google.
Lube your anus so that when you fart, the fart flies farther and faster away from you. It makes insertion into the penal system easier and smoother. Use it in biscuits...(not my suggestion), as your computer locks up for the n-teenth time, you smear it on your monitor to make shoving it up someone's ass easier. Use it as lip gloss? How about hair gel? It can always be used to loosen tight nuts...we knew that though. The possibilities are endless I guess. Helping Santa get inside...the chimney.
The next time I'm in Walgreen's walking around I may pick up a tube or two. I'm not sure why. Apparently, I won't have any trouble finding a use for it. I wonder if it makes boogers easier to pick. That's an idea! A booger lube! Anyway, that's about all I spent my afternoon thinking about. Well, can you think of something better?-Don
25 comments:
The fact that she bought a bunch of them rather than the handy gallon "Super Ho Sized" makes me think she is buying them as "emergency gifts." Those are the little things some folks like to have in case they get last minute holiday guests and don't want them to go home empty handed.
I prefer extra Christmas cookies, but that's just me.
Maybe she's reselling them ;o)
Sounds like she is a very thoughtful gift giver....that shit isn't cheap!
Bwahahahahahaha. You really were bored weren't you? Have a terrific day. :)
Da Old Man: There have been days when KY would've come in handy, but I agree. I think stocking stuffers are on her mind--or wishful thinking.
abelle: Now there's a thought. Reselling KY Jelly as in selling "pre tested" condoms.
Thinkinfyou: I wouldn't know, but thanks for informing me. I'll just stick with the Corn Huskers.
Sandee (Comedy +): You have a nice day too. Yes, it was a slow day for me mentally. It usually is.
When the water company shuts off your water and you really want to you use your Slip-n-Slide, K-Y should do in a pinch.
Hahhahahaaaaaaaaa KY, makes fingering ya mates asshole that much easier, whats a bit of pooh between friends?
Nothing... thats what!
renalfailure: Yep, and I good game of Twister I here...
Damian (666): That's what she said! LOL!!!
If I have to buy anything of a personal nature, I will drive 20 minutes out of my way to go to a store in a different town. I go on a covert mission to Wal-Mart two towns away. I get what I need and go to the register. There is a woman in front of me unloading her cart. When she's done, I put my item on the conveyor belt. She turns around and looks at it. To my horror she picks it up, turns back to her husband/boyfriend/pimp, waving my personal item back and forth in front of his face. He looks at me, looks at it and shrugs. She turns to me and asks in broken English, "What are you going to do with this?" She had to yell it because I was under the conveyor belt.
Deb: Ha,haha! I went and bought some Tampons for a girl one time...that was a sight to see!
>>>>Perhaps she has an enema fetish.
I don't know a lot about enema's but wouldn't a K-Y enema be kinda gloppy?
I guess there is one way to find out. Please post on the results when you try it.
Cheers.
David
Don, think about it. She was hosting a Christmas swapping party with elves. Can you imagine how tight those little fuckers are?
Dang - something to think about!
BTW, I Stumbled this for you...hope I did it right. (Stumble hates me.)
Happy Holidays!
:^) Anna
Maybe she likes fisting herself.
With a Buick.
David: Gotta hand it to you man. You posted as "anonymous" but signed out as David...Lol!
ettarose: I thought about maybe she was having classes with dildos, but didn't think about the elf part.
Anna Lefler: Thanks for the Stumble. Merry Christmas to you too! :)
Mike: I was thinking more like an old, rusty Bronco, but Buick will work.
I'm always late to a party, but perhaps being late to a Ky Jelly party is never a bad thing. LOL
Personally I like vaseline, it's much better in terms of usability, and it has a nice texture, or so I've been told. Errm yup.
Chica: Uhhh, where do I begin here? Maybe I don't...
Maybe her job is like going to different houses that teaches women how to please their man better? And she uses them as handouts for taking her class? That is weird though. I might of had to ask her myself.
Joe Somebody: Yeah right Joe. Just make sure you bring along some degreaser when you talk to her.
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