A couple of the people I was with were actually taking a few practice shots. What the fuck is that about? Warming up when they could be knocking back a few brewskis is not normal bowling etiquette. I always thought that you bowled your best game when you were buzzing from the suds.
As I was resting between gutter balls with a cold beer, I became interested in watching the bozos next to us. They looked like they had been bowling for a number of years. I mean they had their own balls and bags and shoes. Yeah, their shoes were black and white and blue and white without the huge numbers sewn on the heel that you get when you rent a pair. I wore lucky number "13" which I'm sure also played a role in my fucking low score.
I fell further and further behind in our scoring so I basically started watching the couple in the next lane. I'm telling you this. If I had all of that customized bowling bullshit they had, I think that I could manage to at least keep the ball out of the gutter. Not them. They sucked as bad as I did. I kept laughing because the guy was saying that his ball was scuffed and not spinning properly. Huh? My balls get scuffed and I just find a nice warm place to put them for awhile.
I don't know what that couple scored, but I found out their names were Herm and Glynnis. I ended up buying them a beer and telling Herm how nice his ball was. I commented on Glynnis' shoes too. Before we parted ways, I began asking Herm technical shit about bowling like how much heavier is a 16 lb. ball as opposed to a 12 lb. ball. That beer I bought him must have screwed him up because he was laughing at that shit. I don't know if I'll ever see Herm and Glynnis again, and I don't really care. Scuffed balls my ass!
23 comments:
FIRST!
Also:
Bowling IS for drunken fun. I have no idea people took it seriously.
Mike: Unfortunately I don't have a "first" place prize for comments, but thanks. Secondly, that's what I thought too. When my friends asked me if I wanted to go bowling, I thought about a glass of beer in one hand and a damned ball in the other. Period!
If your balls don't get scuffed, you're not doing it right.
People are funny.
Everyone has their own sense of justification.
That guy was obviously insecure and felt the need to give you a reason for his shortcomings.
WE are always looking for some excuse for our own shortcomings.
At least you admit yours in print:)
LOL....too funny!
Have a great day!\
~D~
Douglas: Perhaps that's why my score stunk. I didn't have one scuffed ball when I left. Not one!
Dorothy L: Thanks for coming by and come back. Now having said that, it's easy to not use excuses for my lousy bowling. I'm out of them...
I don't like scuffed balls either. Just saying. Bwahahahahahahaha.
Have a terrific day. :)
My favorite part of bowling is when you get so drunk that watching the ball come back to you through that little chute becomes the most fascinating thing you've ever seen.
Haven't been bowling in years, but because I worked at a bowling alley once I thought I had to have my own ball and bag since they gave me a free locker for it. I'm the worlds worse bowler by the way, but I did bowl a turkey once thanks to the beer and had fun watching the turkey strut across the screen.
Sandee (Comedy +): Hmmmm, I didn't know they could ever post a problem. Guess I'll have to check mine next time. Maybe I can polish them.
Shawn: I stared at that thing when I've been completely sober. It's already fascinating to me. When I get drunk to the point that the gutters look like they're in the center of the lane, then I quit.
Jude: Bowl a turkey? Not sure I've ever done that. I used to play pinball at a bowling alley. Does that count?
Big deal. I have had my own balls for years.
HumorSmith: Hahaha! You da shit man! You da shit. Ever scuff one?
I haven't bowled in a long time..now I want to..
Don, Don, Don - women LIKE a man who sucks (and licks, and blows, and tickles...) just sayin'...
Personally I love bowling when I can find the time between work, blogging and porn.
Decisions, decisions...
Anyway last time I bowled I sucked too, so don't feel bad. Although a few years ago I did go above 200 and hit a turkey, and no I do not remember being drunk.Maybe a bit buzzed.
You cannot bowl drunk.Besides, who would drive home?
dani c: Good. I may be able to beat you then. Wanna go? Bring your own balls though.
Venom: I've heard rumors to that affect. I don't have time for that when I concentrating on my bowling game though. You know how it is...
Kevin John: I always thought that I bowled better drunk for two reasons. One, it gave me an excuse to drink and two, I never think that I'm messing something up when I'm drunk.
With a size 13 shoe, i'm sure the ladies have something to do with your scuffed balls. How did i get on this subject?
The Self-Deprechaun: You got on this subject because you actually read the damn post. Thank you! ;)
Just dropping by because Entrepod has the funniest review of your blog.
I am always popping in so I knew why she was so tickled by your thoughts.
Have a very nice day!
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