I have a habit of studying people wherever I go. I don't stalk 'em, but just pay attention to a few to see how they act or react in public. Recently I was eating out with a friend at a nice restaurant that unfortunately did not screen customers.
I kept noticing this guy holding his silverware like a two year old. I know a lot of grownups do that, but it really chaps my ass. It's like his mom and dad think it's cute that their adult son eats like a toddler. I had a bet with my friend that the guy swaps his fork and knife in his hands before he cuts his food.
Now that's not nasty or anything. My dad used to do that. I just always thought it peculiar. However, when eating with friends in public or at home I have no tolerance for some things whilst eating. Do not clean out your fucking ears with a toothpick...eating or not!
How about sitting down to eat and then deciding it's time to brush off the dandruff on your shoulders. That's a shooting offense in my book. And please don't blow your fucking nose. Even if you think turning your head somehow reduces the volume of snot or diminishes the tremors at the table.
Goddammit, when you are through, if you ever do quit eating, do not suck your fucking teeth to clean them. Not in front of me please! That's just fucking rude. I may be a fucking asshole, but I'm a goddamn respectful and well mannered one.
I don't give a fuck about your saggy old bowels either or how many daily dumps you take. Get it? Just because you are well into your seventies or older, don't think that I'm going to put up with you pulling out a pack of Metamucil and mixing with your water then drinking it at the table in front of me. Death!
26 comments:
I hate it when people suck there teeth at the table! Yuck! It sends chills of disgust up my spine!
What about guys that chew with their mouths open as they smack, smack, smack. I don't need to see - and hear - some jerk's chewed up food. Makes me lose my appetite. These people shouldn't be allowed out of their cages.
thinkinfyou: You are too sweet. You sit there with chills of disgust while I tell them to shut the fuck up, but it makes me feel good to humiliate others.
nonamedufus: Shit! I forgot about that and that's one of the worst. My son pulled off a great line once. A group of us were eating dinner and one of the guest was chewing with her mouth flying open. She said, "Mmm, this food is delicious." My son looked in her mouth and said, "I can see that." She almost cried. God my son is brilliant.
Well that apple didn't fall far from the tree. Please tell your son I am stealing that line.
Yep, there are some real clods out there. Born in a barn I tell you. All these things drive me up the wall too. Clods.
Have a terrific day. :)
how 'bout if I pull out my fiber one bar?
Yep...you hit it right on. There was this guy at a fast-food type place I was at one time, where you are expected to wait on yourself, get your own drinks, and clear your table. Employees basically come out to clean and pick up after the messy and inconsiderate. There was a guy alone at a table, and let's suffice it to say he was unkempt, filthy looking, and fat with an uncovered belly hanging out. This guy had the nerve to catch an employee and ask her to refill his cup -- not once but twice -- THEN asked her to pick up the umbrella he dropped under his table (right by his FOOT btw)!! O. M. G!!! I'm sure you would have given him an earful.. I just sat amazed and appalled...
reaching across my plate to get the salt, or whatever, is one that drives me insane! you'll be lucky to draw back an arm without a fork stuck in it!
Ahhh come on, give em a break! Inevitably what happens with me are small (non stinkers may I add) belches or farts........means I ate a fine damn meal - LOL
There are so many other things to be offended about like kids (and occasionally an adult) picking their nose and then eating it, or coming into a food establishment with their butt cheeks falling out the bottom of their shorts or their breasts falling out of their shirts whenever they bend over or even the young man that is wearing pants about 5 sizes too large and keep falling off his skinny ass.
There are plenty of things to be grossed out about while out to eat.
DouglasDyer: Will do. My daughter used to say that he and I are identical--for better or worse.
Sandee: I don't go to buffets anymore and that is one of the reasons. Too many slobs go there to eat until they can't move, and those are the ones that are gross.
Stacie's Madness: Go ahead. I'll share one with you. Metamucil and old ladies should not be at the table at the same time. It ends up that you hear about bowel issues...
Winky Twinky: I don't do well around people like that at all. I probably would have said something on the way out. Maybe not, but I've done it before.
PJ: I have actually poured ketchup on a guy's sleeve that did that to me once. He threatened to sue me and make me buy him a new shirt.
MamaFlo: Breast falling out of their shirts when they bend over? Really?! ...And where is this?
I have literally seen someone take their shows off in a restaurant. Ewww.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em Don... turn, face 'em, burp or fart, then smile right at 'em... back at ya, assholes! Just don't forget to smile Don... that shows how sincere you really are!
I have talked about rude people before and it amazes me that they do not know how to act in public. Screaming children running through the restaurant is my biggest pet peeve. These fucking brats grow up to be the rude adults we can't stand. I had a friend ask me once how I broke my children of running through a restaurant after a meal and I just stared at him and said, "it's easy. Mine never started"
I'm 31 and I do the Metamucil thing. I like evacuating my meal 30 minutes after I've eaten it. So sue me.
Vanessa: That's getting a bit too comfortable for me. Carrying the ignorance to yet another level. Morons!!!
Tattoo Jim: Hahaha. Ever noticed how when you can smile after basically assaulting someone, ever notice how that is like pouring salt into the wound? Good idea.
Mike: Do you mix and then drink your Metamucil at the dinner table while the others are still finishing their meals? If you do--I'll sue!
Don - you should see what the people fixing the food do - you'd never eat out again. After a high school summer spent working at a local Shoney's restaurant I don't think eating out will ever be an option for me. As for the boobies and butt-cheeks falling out everywhere - don't guys pay extra for that?
Sheila
sheila: I'm with you on the body parts falling out. I don't go out to eat much, and when I do it's usually a nice, "clean" place. Rarely, do I do fast food. Rarely!
This must be a blog about folks livingin the USA !!
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