A relatively young female (see insert-not her) asked me recently if I would ever remarry. My answer was a simple and direct, "Are you fucking kidding me?" Then she asked why I answered so sharply and rudely. My answer again was simple and direct. "You gotta fucking problem with my answer?"
She continued to ask me personal questions. I must add at this point that I've known this girl for less than six months. She called three nights ago and wanted to know if I'd like to go to a local wine bar with her. I said, "You mean at the same time?" *click*
She text me last night at 1 a.m. to ask what I was doing... Yeah, seriously. One o'clock in the morning! I text her back saying that I was sound asleep and couldn't text her back. Would anybody, male or female, like one slightly used, attractive, tall, dumb annoying bitch that may qualify for discounts on the short bus?!
My question concerning this whole "relationship" is why are there people that are so pushy and busy bodyish and downright insane in my world, and who let her in here with me? Not I! I keep my doors locked. I'm very picky about who I let into my world. I have to change those locks. Can I get a witness?! Amen!
2 hours ago
33 comments:
Dude..you just totally missed a reverse booty call.
You should be ashamed.
I have a handgun in my iPhone.
Is she as attractive as the woman pictured? Does she have money? Aw, what the hell? I have no life. Send her along.
Gee, Don, I think you really missed having the best of both worlds. You told her you wouldn't remarry and yet you turned her down when she asked you what you were "doing". Sex without a long-term commitment? Some guys would take that call any time day or night. And if she's anywhere near as attractive as that picture - bonus!
Looks like you found a puppy. Too bad their not a pound for people like that.
I think you are right here Don. She sounds more than wacko to me. Far better to miss this booty call than have a stalker later on. Good thinking. Bwahahahahahaha.
Have a terrific day. :)
It sounds like it's time for you to start handing out copies of "The Watchtower" and talking "religion" to everyone near you... that's one sure way to make them go-away, far, far away... sounds like you're also on someone's "save" list... some friends you have there!
Yeah, give her Joel's number!
moooooo35: I've probably missed a lot of reverse booty calls. I'm not bragging at all. I'm not real easy though. Can I get a witness?
Doctor Faustroll: Hehehehe! Sweeeeet! I'm not that close to her though.
Joel Klebanoff: She is pretty, and I'm picky. She's about 5'7" and 120 pounds. Very attractive and very whacked out! You can have her. I don't handle scatter brains well.
nonamedufus: She's not as hot as Elle McPherson (picture), but she can turn some heads. Probably give some too. She's psycho I think, and I don't deal with crazies well at all.
thinkinfyou: Excellent way of putting it. A puppy indeed. A real bitch! She found me through an EX-friend.
Sandee: I totally agree. Sheesh, I'm not that damned horny. Future stalker is exactly what I'm thinking too. That's just too much.
Tattoo Jim: Excellent idea!! Excellent. If she ever comes by or calls again, I'll go into the "I'll be praying for you" routine.
Me-Me King: I'm certain she'll be chasing some other guy within a month or two. I think I can hold out until then.
Yep, maybe a booty call -- holla at me!
Nancy: Uhhhhh...okay.
Gees, she wants it bad, Don. Can't believe you would turn it down.
Don, you've offered her to me, but in some of your comment replies you've referred to her as "whacked out" and "psycho". I'm not sure if you're being literal or exaggerating. Just to further define that, in the unlikely event that I were able to go out with her, am I likely to still have a penis attached to me at the end of the evening? Strangely, despite my lack of a sex life, that still matters to me.
Sounds like true love!
Hmmm...I'm generally opposed to 1am text messages. Really only because I have a difficult enough time responding to a text message when I'm not wasted and/or passed out, let alone at 1am after several beverages. However, 1am, a what are you doing text from a not unattractive female...I'd probably give in to the potential booty call. My wife might suggest otherwise of course...
Lin: I am picky about women. Sometimes too much for my own good, but picky nonetheless.
Joel Klebanoff: Hahahaha! I have not known her too long, but I suspect that she is a big time drama queen and a pushy one at that. She seems to go beyond assertive and into aggression-not for me.
Sheila Sultani: Then you can have her!
Bonehead: Good point about texting her back at 1a.m. However, I said she was attractive, and she is. Just not on an even keel. I can't stand drama.
Now Don, try to be more adventurous. What are you looking for, stability, or a good screw?
Politicus: I am adventurous. I am not suicidal. Well, maybe a little.
You made the right call Don, she sounds like a cling-on.
You let her in the door once, and she will never leave.
Booty call or not, sometime guys just need some peace and quiet
lot 2 learn: That's the way I see it too. She's pretty, but sometimes that's just not enough. Thanks.
have you considered surgery to have the whacko magnet you apparently have implanted removed. It could solve the problem :)
Ann: Most of the girls I am friends with or actually go out with are really cool. There are about two or three that belong on the short bus. Too bad.
I agree with you Don. An occasional dalliance with a refugee from the short bus might seem like a fine idea at first, but the fallout from sexing up a crazy is just not worth it! Serious!
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