Saturday, October 31, 2009

Holidays Gone Wild! Scrooge Speaks!

Today is the day that marks the first in a line of fall festivities that brings us to the end of the year. Halloween is almost over as quickly as it began. The most fun I get out of Halloween anymore is scaring the hell out of little ones walking down the street or head lighting them as I drive past in the dark. Other than that Halloween is just the beginning of a long, drawn out holiday season.

I'm glad that the little tykes have so much fun because as they get older, if they live long enough, will realize that as grown ups the holiday fun is basically over unless they are doing something illegal like pimping high dollar whores or selling drugs to the next undercover cop that turns the corner.

Thanksgiving is the only fall fest that makes much sense to me anymore, but really I don't need the Butterball hotline telling me how to dry out a friggin' turkey. I'll do a ham thank you. Christmas, and I'll even toss in Kwanzaa, Hanuka and a fucking Ramadan or two, are so totally bastardized I don't even want to think of it.

I hope that I've put you in a cheery mood as you get set to hand out candy to the cute little kids tonight.  Don't pay attention to me. I think I may build an underground playground in which I'll hibernate from Halloween 'til New Year's Eve. You know, something to hold me over until Mardi Gras. Now there's a holiday!

20 comments:

Ann said...

Over the last few years I have grown into the female version of Scrooge. I find your post heartwarming and very festive. (My kind of festive that is)

nonamedufus said...

Oh man, what's a holiday without a turkey? Well, that's what my wife says. She's happy to have me around, I guess.

Don said...

Ann: Thank you. Have a good one. I think.

Don said...

nonamedufus: Hahahaha. That's probably the case with a lot of marrieds, but it's all good. Except dried out turkey anyways.

Lin said...

I'm getting kind of scroogy too, I have to say. The holidays seem to be getting more expensive each year and my kids don't need a thing. It's just a whole lotta work and I'd like to cut back. I think I'll start now by letting someone else answer the door today.

Buggys said...

Halloween is my favorite holiday. There's barely any prep, money involved. Just answer your door and get a chuckle.
Have a good one no matter where you hibernate!

Don said...

Lin: I have friends that spend a ton of money on things from gifts to food and house decorations, and at the end of the day they have no more than I do. Just doesn't make sense.

Don said...

Buggy's: Fourth of July, Mardi Gras and Labor Day are my tops. They all relate heavily to drinking. Maybe I should take heed.

thinkinfyou said...

Bah Humbug!

Tattoo Jim said...

Woo hoo, Don!!!! Mardi Gras!!! Party!!!! You called the Christmas "gimmie" holiday correct... it's all about giving till it hurts... my bank account, that is... Give me the 4th of July!! Fireworks!! Big Booms!!! No presents or candy necessary... but lets get back to those high dollar whores...

Don said...

thinkinfyou: Exactly!

Don said...

Tattoo Jim: Jim, I'm still working on those high dollar whores. Not that way! I'll let you know when I negotiate a fair price, but it's looking good so far.

JessQ said...

Hope you had a wonderful time with your Halloween Party. Our "party" here was spent receiving late voter registrants who wanted to beat the deadline at midnite of October 31, 2009 so they can vote come May 10, 2010 for the National and Local Elections here in the Philippines.

Don said...

JessQ: Well, at least you were doing something productive. The most important thing I did today was cook supper.

Theresa said...

I was born Scrooge. I especially never particularly liked Christmas but mostly because I never got what I asked for. All I wanted was a freakin' Easy Bake Oven but NO I got crap that I can't even remember.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Most guys who build underground playground are truly scary and take all the fun out of the holidays for lots of folks. But each to his own, I say. :)

Don said...

Theresa: I always thought the Easy Bake Ovens were cool. I never asked for one but me sister did one year. She never got it.

Don said...

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings: Well, I suppose I can be scary, but more than that, it's a nice private hide away. A dirty retreat if you will.

tolu said...

this year I gave out disguised carrots out to the kids, carrots dunked in chocolate, oh it brings me a smile to imagine their faces upon tucking in wa h ah ah ah ah ah a

Don said...

tolu: Yeah, I'm sure dipping carrots in chocolate is a great surprise. Nothing to better disguise the shape of a carrot but with chocolate.

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