Thursday, October 8, 2009

Never Put Medicine In Your Medicine Cabinet

What's in your medicine cabinet? I've heard for years that you can tell wonders about a person by the things they keep in their medicine cabinet. You can even come up with a veritable medical history of sorts. That is if you are nosey curious enough to take a peek.

Okay, okay...sorry, you don't snoop right? You've never gone to the bathroom at a guests' house and peeked in the medicine cabinet right? Right. You probably never farted in public or got caught picking your nose either. Right?

I used to check out the contents of some of my friends medicine cabinets. I was only a casual visitor that needed to pee. I went to the bathroom with nothing but relief on my mind, but once through the door something happened to me. I became my fucking mom!

I took the appropriate action to relieve myself. Sometimes I was able to pee and get a glimpse into the medicine cabinet at the same time. Don't ask...I did it! One guy friend had nothing but condoms and toothpaste in his. Not so odd, but I couldn't figure out the hair on the toothpaste tube.

A girlfriend had the usual stuff. Disposable razors, disposable used razors, empty Xanax bottle, empty cough syrup bottle, empty lube tube, full bottle of multivitamins and full bag of something that had hair on it. I haven't seen her in years.

If you have a nosey curious guest over, you may want to be prepared. Me? I keep an empty vial of human growth hormone, a box of one only X-large Trojans, a straight razor (no styptic pencil), Dr. Tichenor's mouthwash and a .45 caliber bullet for effect. So what's in your medicine cabinet?


28 comments:

Joel Klebanoff said...

Some toothpaste (hairless), disposable contact lenses, contact lens cleaner, razor & blades, and a box of condoms that are probably several years past their expiry date, I haven't checked. It's not easy being me.

Don said...

Joel Klebanoff: That's a "safe" list of contents. If you take any meds, keep them elsewhere. It pays to be on guard.

nonamedufus said...

Q-tips, TracIII razor, toothpaste, comb, "official NBA" stick deodorant ear & nose hair trimmer. Hey, at my age I'm into grooming okay? (I like your little single finger salute to yourself on the left over there!)

thinkinfyou said...

Hairless toothpaste,tweezers,deodorant,and a razor. I have a pretty boring medicine cabinet.

ReformingGeek said...

Meds....but then there's the other cabinet. It has well....er...more meds, and beach towels, toilet paper, hand towels, hand lotion, bandaids, and fertilizer (for the plants).

Grace said...

We don't have a medicine cabinet Hah!

Don said...

nonamedufus: I keep some of those items too,but they're in a drawer under the sinks. The medicine cabinet is stocked for the "curious". Thanks. Chica did that for me.

Don said...

thinkinfyou: My kind of woman. Does just fine with the bare necessities. Good for you.

Don said...

ReformingGeek: I hope nobody ever gets the a med and the fertilizer mixed up. Could present a problem.

Don said...

Grace: No need to really. I keep all of my "good" stuff in another drawer anyway. Don't take medicine either. That will cut down on the need for one.

Me-Me King said...

I have the usual items: toothpaste, toothbrush, Pepto-Bismol, Advil, thermometer, and a pair of tweezers for those 2" chin hairs that seem to pop out overnight - yet, another thing my mom didn't prepare me for.

Don said...

Me-Me King: Mom's know best. Most of the time. Tweezers are another thing that I'm turned off by if and when I see them at some girls place. She may have more facial hair than I, and that's not cool.

Sandra Cobb said...

After I heard about this "problem" of medicine cabinet snooping, I started paying more attention to what is in there. Mine looks quite nice with toothpaste, deodorant, perfume and lotions. I'm 55 years old, and I can honestly say that I have never "snooped" into anyone's medicine cabinet!

Tracy said...

Don't have a medicine cabinet; just a mirror.

The vanity drawers have typical hygiene stuff; tooth paste, comb, make up kit, etc.

Jen said...

Razors, Children's Tylenol, Children's Motrin, Children's Robitussin with Codiene (remember when she put a straw through the roof of her mouth) several tubes of miracle cream that don't work, pencil sharpener, floss, toothpaste, and a few stray earring backs. All the good drugs are in my dresser with the condoms I hope to need one day and the vibrator I use while I wait to use the condoms.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I admit it, I've peeked into friends' medicine cabinets. I've never found anything interesting, however, and I don't have anything interesting in mine, either. Maybe we all need to visit Jen's house. She sounds like she's got a very interesting medicine cabinet that's practically begging to be peeked into.

Don said...

Sandra Cobb: Well if your 55 you remember the 60's-maybe. I do. I can tell you that most of the times I peeked into others med cabinets was for the sole purpose of scoring weed-or pills. Glad that you didn't though because it's none of your damned business!

Don said...

Tracy. My big bathroom, the one that I use, has no medicine cabinets either. The one in a guest bath downstairs does. That's the one I keep manly shit in. Like bullets and rubbers but no rubber bullets.

Don said...

Jen: I'm still digesting the fact that you're still waiting to use the condoms again. Since I'm always willing to help my fellow man (woman), aah never mind.

Don said...

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings: Yep. Let's go to Jen's. Perhaps we can help her out with the condom issue too.

Carl Vine said...

Until now, I didn't even realize I had a medicine cabinet! I thought it was just a mirror! Thanks! Now I can go out and get stuff to fill it with; so many good suggestions too!

But I'm confused... where can I get stuff with hair on it?

Don said...

Carl Vine: Have fun stuffing it with stuff. I'm not sure about the hairy thing. Check with your local soup kitchen.

Tattoo Jim said...

Trust me Don, you do NOT want to know what I have in my medicine cabinet... hehehe... nobody wants to know... some things are best left unknown... lets just say there's nothing "alive" in there... hehehe...

Don said...

Tattoo Jim: Okay. You get a pass on an inspection. As long as you're not harboring any illegals or space aliens in there, you are good to go.

Doctor Faustroll said...

The last time I had visitors was at Waco and the time before that Jonestown. People who have medicine are pathetic. A weapons cache, a liquor cabinet, and a drug stash has served me well as I approach full SS payments. Dums dums. That's my preferred antibiotic.

Don said...

Doctor Faustroll: Sounds like Tom Cruise and Scientology. Congratulations on the baby, and tell Katie hello.

Mike said...

If your guest ends up screwing you later, she'll be really dissapointed when your XL condom fits your dick like a clown sock.

Just saying.

moooooog35 said...

Thinking that maybe it's about time to move the Levitra to my bedside table.

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