Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Want My Book Back Bitch!

I have some bad news for all of you that have been anxiously awaiting the release of what was certain to be a wildly popular best seller. My book scheduled to be released next month, Going Rogue, was instead released under the same name by Sarah Palin today. After all of the moose jerky and comic books I sent her, this is the thanks I get. Hell, I even sent her baby a custom made drool towel and matching drool cup...!

My book was written solely with Christmas in mind. Not so much the general holiday, but specifically about Santa himself and his decision to declare his homosexuality to the children of the world. I spent several months undercover to expose Santa. Hear that kids? Santa is a fag! That's right kids! Santa plays the skin flute!

I often said that if anyone wants to see who Santa really is they should look no further than Barney Frank. Just my opinion...doesn't matter now. Not since I saw my grandmother taking a crap has my penis been so limp. Damn you Sarah! Damn you!

So now you know who the real Sarah Palin is...a deceitful, meat eating, seal clubbing bitch. She stole my book and my future. I already had in mind the stars of Going Rogue-Ain't Half Bad, the movie based on my book. Hillary Clinton as Santa and Rosie O'Donnell as Barney Frank. Perfect! Damn you Sarah!  

 

16 comments:

Moooooog35 said...

All that does not change the fact that I would totally hit it. Sorry, dude.

Don said...

Moooooo35: ...and in a heartbeat! Stand in line moooooogster!

Mike said...

I'd hit Palin too. I'd keep her mouth full so she couldn't talk.

Don said...

Mike: Hell yes! As usual, we're all in agreement so far. Her voice gets on my nerves too, but that's about the only thing about her that bothers me.

Me-Me King said...

Whoa, you spent several months undercover to expose Santa? .....hmmmmm.

*MMM tiptoes away quietly*

Sandee said...

What Me-Me King said. I just never thought of you like that. Bwahahahahahaha.

You crack me up. I do ♥ Sarah though. Just saying.

Have a terrific day Don. :)

nonamedufus said...

I thought your book was "Going Rouge". Isn' that right, Red?

Don said...

Me-Me King: Let me tell you that there's not much to him either-for a big man.

Don said...

Sandee: I like Sarah too. Seriously. She still stole my title though.

Don said...

nonamedufus: Hahaha! I remember that post. Makes sense though since you put it that way. You do have a way with words.

Waltsense.com said...

She only gets point for being the only women politician (if you will) that is sexy, knows it, and shows it. First time I saw her I was drunk off my ass and It was her first speech. Then I sobered up, heard her speak and nearly threw up. I am in front of moooooogster though in line!

Ann said...

You went under cover to expose Santa? Now what does that say about you?....lol Too bad about the book deal. real bummer

Don said...

Waltsense.com: Totally in agreement here. Except I'm first, and I'm packin' some heat! No sloppy seconds for me!

Don said...

Ann: Yes I did...go undercover. Fortunately, I'm very aloof and stealthy, and Santa didn't catch on until it was to late.

Tattoo Jim said...

I have to say Don... the going under cover part... I'm having a hard time getting past you being under cover... so Santa's gay you say??? And you were under cover... I don't thing I want to see any pictures Don... sorry about the book, but.... under cover???????? Doesn't sound like you at all, Don... not at all...

Don said...

Tattoo Jim: Hahahaha! I went undercover and then I found out he was gay. It was supposed to be anal only but then he wanted more. So....

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