I have no problems with government controls or being over taxed or fraud and waste at the highest levels. I do have a deep seated problem with toilet lids! It's not so much the lid itself. Not the size or shape and certainly not the color...it's the position stupid!
Why is it that we boys are "supposed" to put the lid down when we are through pissin'? Why don't women put the friggin' thing in the upright position when they're finished? Think of a toilet seat as the tray you eat from in an airplane, and it's about to land! It's that simple.
Women use the seat down position any time they use the bathroom so if they are followed by a guy, it's the guy that has to make a critical seat adjustment. They don't have to, but... I've never understood why it has to be the boys that have to do the seat adjustment.
It's like toilet paper. I mean is toilet paper supposed to roll over the top of the roll or from behind the roll? Seriously? Who cares? I mean when I take a crap I only hope that I have toilet paper and not from which direction it rolls. All this after I make certain the seat is in the proper position of course.
So the next time your taxes increase or the price of groceries skyrocket just remember the real issues facing us on a daily basis. Paper or plastic? Hot or cold? Off or on? Half empty or half full, and most important of all, up or down? Now I feel better...
18 comments:
I agree with you that there is no reason the onus should be only on the men to position the seat and lid upon completion. Because of my years wearing contact lenses and fear of popping one out and into the toilet, I hate seeing a toilet with the lid open. Women NEVER put the lid back down when they finish so in my book they have no room to talk about guys who leave the seat up.
David: Bravo *standing O*. Well said.
Why? I'll tell you why. Becuase there comes a time in every woman's life when she can't seem to get to the potty quick enough (at least 3 times every day). There's no time to look. Nothing, I mean nothing, is more fucking awful than sitting down and ending up below the waterline because some man left the toilet seat in the upright position.
I don't care if the seat is up or down. what I do care about is the piss that's sprayed everywhere. Aim men, aim. If it's that small then may I suggest that you sit down too. Just saying. I feel better now too.
Have a terrific day. :)
I made sure to put the seat AND lid down after I was done doin' my business after about the 3rd time I left it up and she who shall not be named (first wife) fell in the bowl in the dark of night. Why? Sex can be a powerful weapon my friend.
Me-Me King: Makes sense but perhaps you should schedule little potty breaks like some daycare centers. Better yet...adult diapers!
Keep the seat down but just pee all over it.
You may not win the battle, but you can win the war.
TO VICTORY!!
I'm going to have to agree with Sandee's response here. I'm a big girl so I can manage to lower the seat if you leave it up but nothings worse than sitting down and getting a wet ass because the jerk before you couldn't aim.
Sandee: I agree, but that water can be very cold!
nonamedufus: Way to go. Flush the ex! Great discovery and it looks like an accidental drowning. Perfect!
Moooooo35: Meh, I've tried that. My ex was more teh Lorena Bobbit type than the Martha Stewart type. So I learned to clean up after myself.
Ann: Aiming is all about elevation and windage. Pissing is about hitting the hole. Much like sex.
Doesn't anyone ever worry about a sewer rat or a wayward python or some other critter popping up out of the toilet in the middle of the night?
Well I do, so I nailed the toilet seats closed and we all use the one at the 7-11!
Sorry to say it Don, but this is one of those no win situations... we're fucked not matter what we do. As long as women have that particular "goody box" and men don't, we'll do whatever they want... we men are such... well, you know Don...
I have to follow a comment about a "goody box"?
Great.
How's this: anyone who uses the toilet, including evil cats, puts the seat AND the lid down.
The Offended Blogger: Yeah, and I'm sure it's clean! Well, not as much as one with piss on the seat however.
Tattoo Jim: Well Jim I've said it before, "Women control half of the world's money and all of the world's pussy."
Deb: Spoken like a true women with a goody box.
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