I live by certain rules dictated by homophobia, and then there are the important ones. "Don't judge a book by it's cover" is not one of them, however. I have prejudged you. Most of the time I'm wrong, but I delight in judging you and making fun of you. See, it's a way to minimize my faults. I think I'm better than I am if I convince myself that I'm surrounded by idiots and retards. Anyway, back to the homophobic thing...
If I see a guy taking extra "care" picking out cucumbers or zucchini at the grocery then I assume he is probably gay-like you. You will fondle the cukes much like many women I've seen. Me? Being a homophobe, and not wanting to appear gay, I just toss a handful in a bag and hope they're not rotten.
If I'm strolling through a mall, and you are with another guy and are looking at man's underwear together, it's a cinch that you must be gay. Who else but a gay guy would want the "approval" of another guy about his choice of underwear? Oh, and the purple Oprah boxers aren't you!
I don't hate you because you are gay, but I'm not going to sit here and piss down your back and tell you it's raining either. Hell, if I did that I'd be about as useful as chicken shit on a pump handle. No, I'm not going to tell you that I have gay friends. I don't. I don't want any, and lose the Maybelline cookie!
Please, if you are one of the people that may say something like, "Well, gee whiz asshole you're a narrow minded bigot! You should love everybody you son of a bitch. You hate monger!". If you are one of those, then know that I reserve the right to dislike anything and anyone I choose. Thank you and good day!
24 comments:
Wow - I have no idea what the guy was emailing to you but wow what a reaction.
Don't be a hater....just tell us about those damn emails already.
Some guy in purple boxers is giving you a rough time?
Touchy, touchy! ooops. I swear I didn't mean it in that way. :)
You are one of the best profilers I know. Bwahahahahaha. We all do it, it's just that some of us admit it.
Have a terrific day. :)
OK, so you don't fondle the cucumbers while you're at the store. But what do you do with them once you get home? See, a true homophobe wouldn't buy cucumbers at all unless they were pre-sliced. So I'm thinking there might be another, more interesting, story here that isn't being told. Not to scare you. Just sayin'......
The more posts of yours I read the more I have to wonder if we aren't somehow related. I wonder if that girlfriend of my dad before he married my mother could be your mom....hmmmm
David: The emails really aren't bad, but it's basically spam. It's about gay rights and all that shit.
nonamedufus: Hahaha! Damned good point! Yeah!
Me-Me King: Coming from you "touchy, touchy" is okay. I just hate spam and especially spam centered around PETA, NAMBLA and other Bozo groups.
MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings: I look around before I grab my cucumber, and then I handle it in a manly way before becoming satisfied with myself.
Ann: I don't know your dad's past girlfriend, but hell, who knows? I am adopted-no shit!
Who was it that sang the song "I gotta be me"... that's you Don... more people should be as honest about themselves... the country might not be as fucked up as it is.... keep it real, Don, just keep it real...
Tattoo Jim: Thanks Jim. What else is there but a little honesty? Honestly...!
I'm all for equal rights for gays and lesbians but I HATE spam.
A Saskatchewan Roughriders fan?
Sounds like you spend Waaaaayyy too much time out staring at guys -
Great post.
I SO totally want to fuck you in the ass right now.
Yea, what moooooog said!
David: I hate spam too, and we differ on the other; however, that's another issue. Thanks.
FishHawk: Hahaha! Yeah, whatever that means...
Sheila Sultani: I do stare at guys. Especially the ones behind me!
Moooooo35: No celery on the dipstick here brother. You may pull out looking like a Pay Day though.
Mike: Why does it not surprise me that you agree with moooooog? Hehehehe!!
I was insinuating that maybe your stalker is a Roughriders fan. I started to use the Montreal Canadians (since you have to be a diehard Maple Leafs fan--right?), but the Roughriders had a certain ring to it.
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