What do Jesse Ventura, Steven Seagal and yours truly have in common? Nothing. They are famous and bad ass and have new reality t.v. series coming out very soon. Me? I have nothing even close to that. I once had a part in a ninth grade play. I was the lead. I was Prince Charming. No shit! Talk about miscast.
In high school I had a small role in Barefoot In The Park. Romantic comedy-not my gig. The only thing I was required to do was breathe hard while making a delivery. Yet, after all of that and some great reviews in the local school paper, I never received any offers for acting jobs.
Acting was in my blood. I was constantly acting when I told my mom how great her green beans straight from the can were. I was at my acting best when I used to tell my dad whatever he wanted to hear even though it may have meant I had to lie.
I've acted sick, and I've acted strangely. I've acted out of my mind while in control and acted in control while out of my mind. Why is it so difficult to have a reality show? I need a gimmick i.e., a hook. I thought having eight kids with a sexy woman with weird hair would be cool, but it just didn't sound right...
...And even though I'm not an over the hill rock star I am over the hill. Perhaps just hanging out at the house with my totally dysfunctional family would work. With my past acting experience I should certainly make a great star for my own reality t.v. series. If Johnny Fairplay can do it, then so can I!
Watch your backs Seagal and Ventura. There's a new bad ass coming to your neighborhood, and his name is Raider! If that doesn't work then I guess I can fly away in a big silver balloon. Nah, that won't get any attention.
16 hours ago
14 comments:
How about Octo wanna-be Dad. That's where you have unprotected sex with 8 different women. It may not make it to cable. But it ay make your love-life interesting. Look what sex on camera did for that guy who owns Girls Gone Wild. Wait! Was that you?
Here's the greatest hook ever Don!!!! Absolutely nothing dealing with reality!!!! With the flood of all those bullshit "reality" shows now, just imagine a show that is so far from reality... why this could lead to a whole new career for Jon and Kate... "Beyond Left Field! No Reality Required!" staring your host, Raider!!! Who knows... might even keep Oprah from retiring... hmmmm... think I'll just shoot my t.v. now...
nonamedufus: Girls Gone Wild...there's an idea. I could videotape a bunch of girls getting crazy and naked and puking and shit. Ah, don't think that will work either.
Tattoo Jim: Best idea yet. Shooting the t.v. I mean.
If you get a reality show I'll watch it, I'm a sucker for bad TV!
thinkinfyou: Thank you for the encouragement and support. I knew I could count on you...
How about a show where you act like you are invited to places...like a state dinner? Nah, no one could get by security.
Bwahahahahahaha. Our lives are so parallel. I think I have the same family as you. Okay, maybe we all do.
I want to see you take on Seagal. Just saying.
Have a terrific day. :)
David: I tried the state dinner thing a few years ago. Actually, it was a barbecue by a pool. I didn't know the people, but I acted like I belonged. It was good for a barbecue sandwich only.
You were in drama class? You? Bwahahahaha!
Sandee: I think I'm living with the Osbourne's sometimes. Ewww, those freak kids. Mine aren't like that. It just gets weird from time to time.
Me-Me King: Well, not exactly drama class. I basically was asked to do a couple of roles in school. Not sure why. Must've been my inherent use of bullshit.
Just don't go naked like that gay dude from Survivor. Please.
Lin: I would only do that if the money was right, and I doubt that they have enough money to make it right. Besides, the object is to gain viewers-not scare them away.
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