My ex-wife the first was a complete control freak with a quick temper. As such, she was very easy to upset or just downright piss off. Like when we would go on vacations with the kids...I wouldn't stop when she claimed she needed to use a bathroom. She would get angry because of a little pain. Whine, whine, whine.
I'm like the polar opposite. I am so totally spontaneous. I don't know if my spontaneity causes my don't give a damn attitude or the reverse of that is true, but with her it was strictly her way or the highway. I spent a lot of time on that highway.
I wasn't the best of husbands either. Oh, I know...I know. That probably comes as a shock to most of you, but I really wasn't. Like at dinner once she says, "So how do you like the pork roast? It's a new recipe." I replied, "Really? This is pork?" Another time she's modeling a new dress for me. When she asked how she looked I said, "Well, you look okay, but that dress looks like shit." Wrong!
We were getting ready to go to a party once. She was always late and thus struggling to get ready. That was the first time I saw her hair in curlers. She looked at me and said, "Don't look at me. I don't look good now." That was my cue. I was supposed to say, "Oh no. You look really cute." I didn't...I agreed with her.
Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. I couldn't win with her. I disagreed...pissed her off. I agreed...pissed her off. Then one Sunday afternoon she asked me very politely if I wanted a divorce. I immediately said "yes." She said, "Are you serious?" "Hell yes!," I replied. That was the beginning of the rest of my life.
Now excuse me. I have to go use the bathroom.
4 hours ago






20 comments:
I hear ya! Honesty in a relationship is the death knell; I wish women would stop insisting on it.
No thanks, I've already had one!
I once heard that Kenny Loggins and his wife practiced total honesty about everything. Maybe that's why he died young.
and I thought my ex said some stupid things, I think you have him beat...lol
Patrick: Ain't that the fucking truth? Me and my big mouth...
nonamedufus: Hahaha. Lots of fun, huh?
MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings: Yeah. I wouldn't advocate 100% honesty in any relationship. That would be suicidal-Lorena Bobbit style.
Ann: Thanks Ann. It comes naturally. I didn't have to read any "relationship" books or anything. Neat huh?
I think unmarried suits you. ;-)
ReformingGeek: It suits me perfectly! It's just that soooo many middle aged women, married or not, do not seem to be able to handle a middle aged guy being single. What's with that?
Well, it's a good thing you ditched her---you seem just so much happier now.
Lin: Hahahaha! Yes I am! By far...!
you crack me up =D
Marriage sucks. And I should know. I've been married to the same guy for 18.5 years...and although I love him and would never leave him, it still sucks.
By the way, I can't get into the Humorbloggers site for the past few days. Anything I should know about? :o)
Whoa, Kenny Loggins died? When did that happen?
Okay, as hard as this may be to believe, I have 3, count 'em, 3 ex-husbands. They are all friends now and have quarterly meetings for their "We Were Married To Me-Me" club. Shortly after these meetings, each will call me and share the stories the others told. It's all bullshit!!! Liars!!! My next husband, I swear, will not speak English.
Kenny Loggins isn't dead. He might feel that way due to practicing "total honesty", but he isn't dead.
Okay, he looks a little dead, or like a figure in a wax museum... but he's not.
Sandi: That's my goal in life. To crack you up.
Mary@Holy Mackeral: It sucked for me too. I will take care of your HBDC login issue. Thanks.
Me-Me King: You're a glutton for punishment aren't you...3 ex's and talking fourth? Remember, live and learn? Well, live and learn.
Carl Vine: I ain't dead yet and neither is Kenny.
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