My ex-wife the first was a control freak with a quick temper. As such, she was very easy to upset or just downright piss off. Like when we would go on vacations with the kids...I wouldn't stop when she claimed she needed to use a bathroom. She would get angry because of a little pain. Whine, whine, whine.I wasn't the best of husbands either. Oh, I know...I know. That probably comes as a shock to most of you, but I really wasn't. Like at dinner once she says, "So how do you like the pork roast? It's a new recipe." I replied, "Really? This is pork?"
We were getting ready to go to a party once. She was always late and thus struggling to get ready. That was the first time I saw her hair in curlers. She looked at me and said, "Don't look at me. I don't look good now." I was supposed to say, "Oh no. You look really cute." Instead I agreed with her.
I couldn't win with her. I disagreed...pissed her off. I agreed...pissed her off. Then one Sunday afternoon she asked me very politely if I wanted a divorce. I immediately said "yes." She said, "Are you serious?" "Hell yes!," I replied.
Now excuse me. I have to go use the bathroom.
Note: Originally published 12/04/09
36 comments:
I hear ya! Honesty in a relationship is the death knell; I wish women would stop insisting on it.
No thanks, I've already had one!
I once heard that Kenny Loggins and his wife practiced total honesty about everything. Maybe that's why he died young.
and I thought my ex said some stupid things, I think you have him beat...lol
Patrick: Ain't that the fucking truth? Me and my big mouth...
nonamedufus: Hahaha. Lots of fun, huh?
MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings: Yeah. I wouldn't advocate 100% honesty in any relationship. That would be suicidal-Lorena Bobbit style.
Ann: Thanks Ann. It comes naturally. I didn't have to read any "relationship" books or anything. Neat huh?
I think unmarried suits you. ;-)
ReformingGeek: It suits me perfectly! It's just that soooo many middle aged women, married or not, do not seem to be able to handle a middle aged guy being single. What's with that?
Well, it's a good thing you ditched her---you seem just so much happier now.
Lin: Hahahaha! Yes I am! By far...!
you crack me up =D
Marriage sucks. And I should know. I've been married to the same guy for 18.5 years...and although I love him and would never leave him, it still sucks.
By the way, I can't get into the Humorbloggers site for the past few days. Anything I should know about? :o)
Whoa, Kenny Loggins died? When did that happen?
Okay, as hard as this may be to believe, I have 3, count 'em, 3 ex-husbands. They are all friends now and have quarterly meetings for their "We Were Married To Me-Me" club. Shortly after these meetings, each will call me and share the stories the others told. It's all bullshit!!! Liars!!! My next husband, I swear, will not speak English.
Kenny Loggins isn't dead. He might feel that way due to practicing "total honesty", but he isn't dead.
Okay, he looks a little dead, or like a figure in a wax museum... but he's not.
Sandi: That's my goal in life. To crack you up.
Mary@Holy Mackeral: It sucked for me too. I will take care of your HBDC login issue. Thanks.
Me-Me King: You're a glutton for punishment aren't you...3 ex's and talking fourth? Remember, live and learn? Well, live and learn.
Carl Vine: I ain't dead yet and neither is Kenny.
Why is there a reference to Kenny Loggins when I originally commented on this post? I don't see anything about Kenny Loggins. Maybe I was hallucinating...again.
36 years to the same wonderful woman, Don... what the fuck are we doing wrong???? I know, and can accept the fact, that I'm past all hope, but the wife??? Maybe she's just a glutton for punishment??? Who knows... maybe I'm just the luckiest slob out there.... hmmmmmmmm......
I always thought you'd make a great catch. Bwahahahahahaha. Not!!! This doesn't surprise me one bit. Just sayin'.
Have a terrific day Don. :)
Me-Me has 3 ex's? I'm impressed...that the other two were brave enough to give her a go (ha, ha, ha) Just kidding Me-Me! Really...
At least you were honest. I know far too many people who just drag it out with the "I need space" crap. Just be honest, you want it to work or you don't.
I have to be honest, I love the blatant truth. She needed to be more flexible.
Me-Me King: I was hoping you could clear that up. I vaguely remember reading it and thinking "what the fuck is she talking about."
Tattoo Jim: Wow! 36 years! That deserves a pat on the back. Perhaps I should have met you years ago. You know...for some pointers.
Sandee: I was warned by a few women my age that if I stayed divorced I would never have a shortfall of women wanting to go out with me. I ain't braggin' but it's so true. Horny old gals.
nonamedufus: I don't know. Sounds like Me-Me could be a fun ride, but I've made bad choices before.
Ivy: Thanks for the support. Yeah, that was my time to say yea or nay. She gave me the opportunity and I ran with it. Good thing too because everything worked out well.
You could've taken just a moment to think it over...
Buggys: I had fourteen years to think it over. That's enough time.
honey, I could tell by one glance at your picture that you are a pain in the butt.... not that there's anything wrong with that
who woulda thunk it??: A picture is worth a thousand words. Don't doubt your first impressions. They may be right.
I think it will take a great match to make you change your mind. I hope you'll find her soon, hehehe! ;=)
It's hard to say who is right or wrong in a relationship, when you only hear one side.
But I think anything can be misused in order to hurt someone, even "honesty".
It doesn't sound likeyou two liked each other enough to make an effort to be "friends". You were probably wrong for each other from the start. It may be that you both were just too stubborn and strong-willed. No one was willing to give. It also may be that you both were clinging to old expectations instead of living in the present. "I was supposed to say..."
Two people can not continue to say hurtful things to each other in the long run. It wears you down. I am not surprised that the marriage ended.
Do you have a relationship now that works better than this one? Have you learned something from your mistakes here? Or have you resign to living alone?
Good luck! Life is not easy for any of us!
Best wishes,
Anna
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