I'm sitting here amongst two banana peels, burning incense and with my 'num lock' on. I never turn on my 'num lock'. I don't even know what a fucking 'num lock' is for Christ's sake, but mine is on. What did I do?! Shit! Saints win...what a night. God, ...can't believe the sun is up and it is only 9am.[What are seeds doing in my ashtray?] Oooh, I'm sorry. I'm back now. I gotta tell ya a little secret. I can't "hang" like I used to. All night parties ain't for me any more. Let me correct myself. They are for me, but I just can't handle them like I used to be able to.
I don't even smoke anymore and I'm scrounging around a for partially smoked cig in the ashtray. I need nicotine! Actually a beer will do, but it's too early. I mean I just quit a couple of hours ago. Ugh!
I'm retiring from all night parties. It doesn't matter what excuse I use to have one. A Super Bowl, Mardi Gras, New Year's or some little putz named Murray's Bar Mitzvah – I've got to stop! Well, maybe not until after Fat Tuesday anyway. Okay, July 4th...see what I mean? I'm diseased with party plague.
I'm going to check myself in to our local sexual addiction center. I hear Tiger's wife is here to pick him up and I need to have a talk with her. Think I'll invite her to stay for Fat Tuesday. Maybe she'll keep me occupied enough that I won't enjoy myself.
I wonder if she would know how those seeds got into my ashtray.
13 comments:
Sounds like you are doing just fine at parties. If you can't remember then you had a great time. Bwahahahahaha. I'm not ever going to give up parties.
Have a terrific day. :)
Sandee: Just like the "good ole days" when you felt like shit all day the next day...ugh! I always say never again, but then there I go. Hey, it's George Washington Carver's birthday. Let's get some hot boiled peanuts and beer and get wasted!!
HEY, DON...shhh, sorry, didn't mean to yell. Here's something I found on the internet:
If you bought $1000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.
If you bought $1000 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, and traded in the cans for the nickel deposit, you would have $79.
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily and recycle.
Hey, it's 5 o'clock somewhere. Have a beer, you'll feel better.
Glad the Saints had such a terrific win!!!
I'm sure you've heard the phrase "hair of the dog that bit you" go for the beer.
nonamedufus: That's my kind of math. "Brew" math.
Me-Me King: I'm glad they won too. Now maybe I won't have to listen to "Who 'dat?" during the last half of Mardi Gras.
Ann: No, I don't believe I've heard that expression. Even if I have, right now I don't think it would matter much less make sense.
Have one drink per hour for a 24 hour period. Your body will eventually adjust to the high alcohol content and make it easier to drink and stay awake. Oh. Also add coffee to the regimen.
Lauren: I do that anyway. That's the fun "part" of "part"y.
Shhhh... be very, very quiet... Don is having a rough start to the day... hair of the dog, Don... hair of the dog... I'll tip toe out now...
I hear Tiger's seeds are EVERYWHERE.
As The Late Great, Sam Kinison, usta say...
THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT A PARTY!
The Saints, aint, The Aint's, no-moe'
Peace.
Post a Comment