Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Brought To You By The Amish Council On Energy

Toyota is investigating reports that another Prius has run amok. Apparently, a Prius sped wildly down a street after accelerating on it's own. Thanks to the heroic efforts of a state trooper the car was immediately detained and is currently in an impound yard. 

Alcohol has not been ruled out as a cause for the Prius' wild run. Please people use caution when gassing up your autos with grain (corn) alcohol mixtures.

Immediately, Priuses (Prii?) everywhere began to protest by refusing to start or exceed 15mph under any circumstances. Owners of the perky and pesky Prius are now thinking about dumping their green machines for more reliable mules.

Like all hybrids there are problems within. Hybrids are typically unpredictable in behavior. Oh sure, it may look cute, but it can have a bite far worse than one may expect. Plus, it's Japanese. Do you really trust the Japanese? Remember Pearl Harbor? Hah!  I'll take a mule over a car with an attitude any day.

Remember that "helping" the environment isn't all it's cracked up to be. You may be injured or killed in the process of going green. You may be trapped in the bowels of a crazy, runaway man-made monster like the Prius. It's your choice, but when in doubt stick with a mule. Go Amish! Go America!



 

25 comments:

nonamedufus said...

I can see it now. Smart-alecky Amish teenagers leaning off the saddle of their younger faster horse, yelling at their elders on mules, "Get a car!"

Sandee said...

Or those stupid looking Smart Cars. Going green isn't all it's cracked up to be. I want my big ole SUV.

Have a terrific day Don. :)

Don said...

nonamedufus: Yes. Those crazy Amish and their mules. Next thing you know they'll be into using windmills for generating energy. No Way!!!

Don said...

Sandee: Right now "going green" is for the above average wage earner, the politically correct, and every sea sick son of bitch out there.

MA Fat Woman said...

Going green? You can't get much greener than when you're riding in the buggy and the mule takes a big ole dump...turds everywhere.

Me-Me King said...

I believe I'm contributing to the Green movement by never leaving my house.

Buggys said...

I turn green when I see the sticker price on those hybrids! Good God! I'm with Me-Me, I'll just stay home.

Don said...

MA Fat Woman: That's why I think that all of those folks who are sincere about going green and worried about the environment retro fit their houses for wood burning fireplaces and gas lanterns along with outdoor plumbing. You know...the good old days.

Don said...

Me-Me King: Depends on how much you watch t.v. or cook or wash clothes and read books. Basically, just stay in bed with all lights off and you will truly become one of Al Gore's whores.

Don said...

Buggys: Going green is going to be costly. Going green is going to drive folks crazy. Going green is something I'll never do.

Pearl said...

I'm as green as I'm going to get as far as transportation goes: I take the bus!

Pearl

p.s. And yes, I do believe the plural of Prius is Priuii or the lesser-used Priususus.

Ann said...

I can't afford green because I don't have enough of the green stuff so I could be green with envy but instead I'll just keep driving my ford.

Don said...

Pearl: Taking a bus is cheaper than using your car and very practical. Good for you. Carpooling is another very inexpensive, practical and useful way of "going green".

Don said...

Ann: Spot on! The only green I choose to do is putting green into my wallet or spending it on good old fashioned eco-deadly light bulbs. The kind you don't have to wear a hazmat suit to clean up if you break one.

Lin said...

I'm gonna get a horse. When he dies, I'm gonna eat him. :)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

This one Prius told me he was going to write a book and call it, "Going Rogue". I didn't have the heart to tell him the title was already taken.

Don said...

Lin: That's the spirit. Kill two birds with one stone. Or stone two horses with one bone...something like that.

Don said...

Nanny Goats In Panties: Yes, but it sure would make a fine movie.

Tattoo Jim said...

If you listen very carefully, on a quiet day, you can hear both the Japanese and Mother Nature laughing at us (those who have "green-itis")... give me a classic piece of American iron... something from the 50's or 60's... those were the days....

Don E. Chute said...

Don it's Don--

I thought only 'SUV's' ran peeps over, and had a mind of their own?

Jus sayin

PLU!

Don said...

Tattoo Jim: I want my '66 Mustang or '69 Camaro back. I'll show those Prius owning chumps what acceleration is all about. Pussys!!

Don said...

Don E. Chute: Hey Don, Don. Scary isn't it? Now another heathen beast on the road. Reminds of "Christine".

Moooooog35 said...

Wait...I thought you were a hybrid.

Oh.

Hermaphrodite.

Same thing in principal though, right?

Ron said...

Your comments are hilarious. I have a 92 toyota camery that gets close to 30 MPG. I know not American. Toyotas are more American than any Obama Motors rig coming off of the line. Now these stupid green people think these hybids are the answer to Als thought up mess. These hybrids only get 25 to 30 MPG. They are the coming problem as they are the most inefficient marvel as of late. By the way has anyone seen Al resurface anywhere.??

Don said...

Ron: Thanks. Yes my comments are often funnier than a lot of blogs. It's worth the trip here just to read those. I'm about to go back to being A Ford guy.

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