I'll Just Have The Milk-Bone Please.

When I was a little kid I used to eat Milk Bone doggy snacks with my favorite dog of all time - Boots. My mom thought that I was sick and needed worming.

My dad just thought I was fucking retarded.

Boots bit a man once while the guy was strolling in front of our house. It got ugly. I kept calling Boots to the house, but he was having too much fun chewing on the guys leather dress shoes.

Finally, me and Boots made it inside the house.

Seconds later the man came to the front door and demanded to speak with my dad. I told dad that a man was standing at the door crying and wanted to talk with him. That's all I said.

Shortly afterwards dad walks into the den where me and Boots were pretending to have fun. Dad sits down and begins watching t.v. He says nothing...

After about thirty tense seconds, I asked dad what happened. He simply said, " That man is the same man that owns the German shepherd that bit me on the ankle two months ago."

I asked, "You mean he's not mad anymore?" My dad looked at me and said, "No. It just means that I'm not whipping your ass tonight."

Thanks pop. You're the best!